| What, When and How |
| Q: When does a person decide to become a Safety Manager?
|
| A: When he realizes he doesn't have the charisma to be
an undertaker. |
| Q: What do safety Managers use for birth control? |
| A: Their personalities |
| Q: How can you tell an extroverted safety Manager? |
| A: When he talks to you, he looks at your safety shoes
instead of his own |
|
| Two Kinds |
| There are two kinds of Safety Guys, those that know the
law and those that know the judge |
|
|
| Safety Managers: |
| Persons who write a 10,000 word document and call it a
brief.” -- Franz Kafka |
| |
| Any time a Safety Manager is seen but not heard, it’s a
shame to wake him |
| |
| Word Processor |
| Have you heard about the
Safety Managers’ word processor? >> No matter what font you
select, everything comes out in fine print. |
 |
| Wine Cellar |
| What do you get if you
put 100 Safety Managers in your basement? >> A whine cellar. |
| |
| Pregnant |
| How does a
pregnant woman know she is carrying a future Safety
Manager? >> She has an extreme craving for baloney. |
| |
| How Many |
| How many Safety
Managers can you place on the point of a needle? >>
Ten, if you make them stand on their heads. |
| How many Safety
Managers does it take to screw in a light bulb? >>
One: the Safety Manager holds it while the rest of
the world revolves around him. |
| |
| What |
| What do Safety
Managers and sperm have in common? >> Only one in
two million ever does anything worthwhile. |
|
What do you call a
Safety Manager gone bad? >>
A Politician
|
|
What do you get when
you cross a librarian with a Safety Manager?
>> All the
information you need—but you can’t understand a word
of it.
|
|
|
| What do you get
when you cross the Godfather with a Safety Manager?
>> An offer you can't understand. |
| What is the
definition of a Safety Manager? >> A mouth with a
life-support system. |
|
What's the difference
between a Safety Manager and a vampire? >>
Vampires only suck
blood at night.
|
|
What’s the difference
between a Safety Manager and a boxing referee?
>> A boxing referee
doesn’t get paid extra for a longer fight.
|
| What’s the
difference between God and a Safety Manager? >> God
doesn’t think he’s a Safety Manager. |
| |
| |
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