A man walks into a Essex pet shop looking to buy a monkey.
The shop owner points towards three identical looking monkeys in
politically-correct, animal-friendly and safe natural mini-habitats.
"The one on the left costs £500," says the shop owner.
"Why so much?" asks the customer.
"Because it has a NEBOSH certificate," answers the shop owner.
The customer inquires about the next monkey and is told, "That one
costs £1500. "Because it has a Diploma 1&2," answers the shop owner.
The startled man then asks about the third monkey.
"That one costs £3000," answers the shop owner.
"3000 pounds!!" exclaims the man. "What can that one do?"
To which the owner replies, "To be honest, I've never seen it do a
single thing, but it calls itself a Consultant."