Signs You Hired the Wrong Fireworks Expert
- Business card reads, "Sponsored by St. Luke's Burn Unit."
- His degree, from the Wile E. Coyote Demolition Academy, is an
- His grand finale involves pork & beans and a Bic lighter.
- The punk he keeps trying to light has orange hair and a nose ring.
- Asks if he should shoot off Quaker Puffed Rice or Oats when the
1812 Overture begins.
- Tied a monkey to a skyrocket "so's I can get me a grant from
- He wants to know if he can "borrow" your dog for the finale.
- Insists on humming the "Mission Impossible" theme every time he
lights a fuse.
and the Number 1 Sign You Hired The Wrong Fireworks Expert...
- For kicks, sticks roman candle in nose and chases kids around.